Sonny Pipkins, Still Hunting
by Sonny Pipkins
I got into an argument with my good friend Jim
bout who wuz the best hunter, me or him?
Now I hunt with dogs cause it’s easier for me
than wearing camouflage and climbing a tree.
Jim said it wuz cheating and mighty clear,
There wuz no way I could out-smart a deer.
He said deer were smart and it wuz easy to tell,
They’d sneak by me because of my smell.
Well that last comment caught me all wrong…
I’d kill me a deer, it wouldn’t take long.
I went down to Wal-Marts and bought me some clothes
Then over to Gander Mountain for stuff for their nose.
My wife thought I wuz buying Cabelo’s out,
And I’d bought that electric climber if not for her shout.
Three more days past and nary a deer
And what Jim said wuz becoming real clear.
I bought me a magazine that said my scent wuz in my hair
And the smelling stuff I bought wuz just stinking up the air.
Now I knew for sure what had to be wrong,
the reason I couldn’t get a buck wuz my hair wuz too long.
A trip to the barber and a near heart-attack,
He made me look like a shaved Ko-jack.
He shaved eye brows and lashes and polished my head,
shaved arms and legs til my skin wuz red.
Then he plucked my nose and pulled the hair from my ears,
and the little biddy short ones nearly brought me to tears.
Saturday morning I camo’d up
loaded my gear in the old pick-up.
Long before daylight I wuz climbing a tree
With the lighted ball cap I’d bought for me.
I wuz cold and shivering and far from home
But I wuz ready to hunt, it wouldn’t take long.
Ten hours later and still no buck,
(it wuz called still hunting cause there wuz still no buck.)
On the long ride home I started to grin,
at least I wuz the cleanest that I’d ever been.
When I got home it wuz easy to tell
that this ole boy didn’t have no smell.
Old Blue wuz laying by the door where he’s always been
And cause he couldn’t smell me, wouldn’t let me in.
I finally told Jim it took a lot of skill
And there wuz more to his type hunting than just hide and kill.